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So Many Degrees

It’s just so incredibly cold in Melbourne at the moment, and I keep getting fooled by the weather reports. “It’s all fine!”, they say. “Just go out wearing whatever you like, it’s a whole ten degrees! That’s eight more degrees than two degrees!”

You guys are straight up lying! I go out in only two layers, like I did for the music festival on the weekend, and I just end up being miserable the entire time. Cold, and not focusing on the music obviously.

I know it seems like I’m never happy, and that’s for the simple reason that I’m never happy. In the summer, our share house had no air con, and I was just as miserable. I started having these weird dreams as well, ones where I saved the life of the CEO of a Melbourne based heating repair company, and they were so grateful that they fitted out my room with heating. Though they did not install heating for the rest of the house, which is fine with me because SOME people never put out the bins when it’s their turn. As far as I’m concerned, Jane gets no central gas heating until she washes her dirty dishes.

In another one, I saved the life of their company mascot, which was a french bulldog. Or was that the dream I had where I saved the dog, and the RSPCA gave me a medal and said that I can come and play with the puppies any time I like. If it was a competition between puppies and gas heating, I would choose the latter every single time. Summer, I can at least deal with if I don’t listen to those lying weather reports and go to places unprepared. But Winter? There’s no escaping that cold. You just shiver, and lie there miserable. Unless of course you save someone out of the road seconds before a tram runs them over, and they use their amazing connections to hook you up with central heating for years to come. It was a lovely dream.


Published inHeating

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