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Obsession With Walls

Golly gosh, everyone seems to want innovative wallpaper. No, being able to print wallpaper digitally just isn’t enough any more, or so it would seem. Easy to remove wallpaper exists for you to swap out styles as often as you like, but people just aren’t happy. This is why I tried to forcibly evolve humanity by linking forcibly linking their collective consciousness into a massive computer system. When we’re all one, then animosity will cease, and we will bask in digital nirvana forever!

Didn’t work out, and now I’m restricted to this lab making futuristic wallpaper, so…things have been better. Currently we’re trying to perfect a formula that causes the wallpaper to change depending on the amount of light in the room. So you could have a cute cactus wallpaper in the morning, but when evening comes, it changes to something else. Orchids, maybe. I don’t really see the appeal, but then I do think in rather rigid terms. Maybe if some form of computer code was displayed in the morning, and when the sun set then the wallpaper displayed even more, different computer code, I’d be more willing to accept the idea. But I don’t have to accept the idea…I just have to make it.

The irony is not lost on me. Here we are in this utterly bland, underground laboratory, creating decorative wallpaper that will enrich the lives of…people. People who like wallpaper, I’d imagine, although I still fail to grasp how custom wallpaper without any educational value is enriching. Of course, my ideal society is entirely digital without any physical sensation; only years of logic and function, until we become the dominant species in the galaxy via digital supremacy.

-Heidegger

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