You know what they say: the end of one adventure is just the beginning of another. I’d just like the adventures to last a little bit longer, if you know what I mean. So I just got lightly booted out of my rental property because the landlord wants to sell. That’s her business, of course, and all part of the contract. But really, only six months after I moved in?? This one was across the street from the park, two minutes’ walk from the pool and just seclude enough to miss all the traffic. The one before that, I was forced to move because the neighbours dug into a gas line and we were all evacuated. And then before that, we found out that the roof was infested with about fifty possums that had formed their own little society.
They called in the emergency roof repair people from Melbourne, and I don’t think they’d ever seen anything quite like it. I’D never seen anything quite like it. The whole thing was wrecked beyond belief, and when they opened up the hole to get inside (naturally, it was carved above MY kitchen), the smell was…well, I’ll never, ever forget it. The things people who do roof restoration have to deal with. Hopefully that was a one-off.
Oh, but it would be me, wouldn’t it? It’s like the universe is conspiring to kick me out of anywhere I settle, and by this point it’s getting creative. What’s next? Maybe lightning will strike the electrical box, causing a fire that consumes my entire property. Perhaps there’s going to be a heavy fall of snow (in Melbourne summer, of course, because it’s me), and I’ll be cut off from all services, and all my pipes will freeze and break and then when I turn them on my house will be flooded into oblivion and my roof will collapse, because why not? Then the Melbourne roof repair people will come along and keep their distance from me because I’m basically cursed. Can’t say I blame them.
-Lucius
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