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Punching Down Trees for a Living

Melbourne tree removalDon’t really know why, but I’m obsessed with foreign films. I don’t know, maybe I should’ve been born in India or something. Their movies are just plain amazing, particularly since they’re so overblown and nobody cares. It’s like a feast for the imagination!

The last one I watched was called Punch Guy!, and it was about a superhero who nobody liked who went around punching people. Nobody liked him because he caused so much property damage, but the grand message came when he realised that he should just let the police take care of bad guys and apply his talents elsewhere. Like, punching down trees. That was his job at the end of the movie.

Imagine if you called the Melbourne tree removal people and they just came along and punched your tree problem right down. In fact, you probably can’t imagine that, because it’s not real, but…how cool would it be?

I’m letting my imagination run away with me again, and besides, that might not even work. After all, it’s not like tree removal is all about brute force. If that was the case, they’d knock down trees with a wrecking ball and that would be that, job done and everything peachy. Stumps would be removed by planting some C4 and retreating to a safe distance, after which you’d blow it right out of the ground, or at least to tiny steaming bits. No, I’ve actually seen trees being removed, and it has a more finesse than just hacking at the thing with an axe. Imagine if it was an explosive axe. An axe that made explosions!

Yeah, nah. Same kind of problem. You’d have trees toppling into houses and splinters taking people’s eyes out. Nasty stuff.

Okay, you need tree pruning in Melbourne, but they do it with LASERS… The world could be so much cooler if we just let it happen.


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