There used to be an old urban legend around Melbourne about a guy who could intercept TV signals with his brain. Well, I say ‘old’…this sprung up in the last five years or so. Apparently he once had a dramatic accident involving a TV antenna and a lightning storm, and he became a sort of reluctant crime-fighter. Sounds dumb, but also the type of thing someone would make into a TV movie.
I just don’t even want to think about having an accident like that. Since I was little, I’ve had a weird phobia surrounding TV aerials and dishes, ever since someone in the playground told me that touching one causes you to get zapped by a million volts. And then Kayla Banks said that one lightning bolt is equal to one volt, so it was like getting hit by a million lightning bolts.
So I grew up thinking Melbourne’s TV antenna installation people were basically superheroes who risked their lives so that I could watch cartoons on a Saturday morning. I still admire anyone who’s willing to climb up that high for a job- not really fond of heights, either- although I’ve since learned that TV antennas don’t carry enough charge to light up all of Melbourne with a single touch. Jury’s out on whether they give you superpowers, though none of the TV antenna repair people I know seem to hear voices in their heads, and they don’t have to mysteriously run off in times of emergency, so probably not.
But then…I’ve never asked. That is, there could be TV antenna repair specialists in Melbourne who have super-powers, or maybe they all do, and just nobody suspects a thing. No smoke without fire, as they say. No urban legend without a grain of truth. If so, I thank them for their brave service, both climbing my house to fix the TV antenna, and also for the secret superhero gig. Whatever that involves.