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I Was Supposed to be Sandra!

Croydon kids play centreThe role of Sandra was mine. I’m serious, that little witch stole it right out from under my nose, and what am I left with? Mum #4. That’s not even Mum #1, which I clearly deserve!! The worst part is that Lana doesn’t even know what she did, stumbling into the audition late just as I was about to awarded the part and impressing everyone with her genuine air of mum-hood and slight stress. Oh, she took the wrong bus? Tough biscuits, dearie. That part was mine, and it was about to be my big break. I don’t think I can quite say the same about Mum #4, who by the way has only a single line: “Sandra, let it go!”


Heaven knows I’ve tried to exert some influence over the whole thing. I even suggested a kids birthday party venue in Croydon, just down the road. It’s closer! We won’t have to travel! I, myself, will not have to travel at all, except for a three-minute walk! Nope, we’re off on a long-haul flight to Jandakot. It has all the filming locations we need in one big area, and we’ve already secured the use of the play centre. Oh, I see…Mum #4 just doesn’t carry the clout of a main cast member.

Then I tried to get my BF Jared off the sofa and into the production, because they were looking for guys to stand in the background of the dance sequence to represent the dads. I thought it’d be great for him to get away from those video games and see what I do for a living, you know? The director took one look at him and decided that he’d be great as Sandra’s hard-working husband. So now he has a recurring role and way more lines than me. What is EVEN happening here, for real. No joke. I’m about to explode.

Ugh, sigh. I guess we get to film in an indoor play centre like in Croydon, but…further. Brings back being a kid, when I used to go there with Rachel and she stole my teddy bear and buried it in the ball pit…gah, now I’m angry again!


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