Sometimes I wonder why I seem to be completely incapable of getting my life together. I mean, on paper, I should have it all figured out. There’s no significant life trauma that could be holding me back, I went to a good school, did well, went to a good uni, and did well there too. I worked a series of terrible jobs, had an internship, and landed myself a halfway decent gig when I made it out of uni. But despite all of that, seeming so organised by all outward appearances, on the inside, my life’s a wreck.
It’s like I never really learned how to ‘adult’ properly. Like I just lurch from one near-miss to the next, shaving it a little too close every time.
Take my current crisis, for example. I’ve known for months know that something is seriously wrong with my drains. I mean, it didn’t start off that badly, but when you leave a problem like that alone, it can only get worse.
Obviously, there are a ton of different plumbing companies in Melbourne – really, we’re spoilt for choice – but that part of my brain that should exist to deal with these situations is conspicuously absent. Instead, I just tell myself that it will be fine and secretly pray that a miracle happens and it fixes itself, as it slowly gets more and more urgent.
Of course that literally never happens. Instead, I wake up one morning with a fine layer of water on my floor and have to take the morning off work to frantically call every drain cleaner in Melbourne. Really, it’s my own fault that it turned into such a catastrophe, but if I’m perfectly honest with myself, that isn’t going to change anything. I’m still going to be as lazy as I’ve always been. At this point, it’s really just too late.