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My Gaming Requires ENERGY

powerwall for MelbourneThe whole reason I cordoned myself off in the garage is so I wouldn’t bother anyone. And then Mum and Dad said they weren’t paying for my electricity anymore, so…that sucked. Six months later I finally saved up enough to pay for solar panels, so I could provide my own energy. And now who’s laughing!

Not me. Seven years of online gaming have drained the joy out of my soul to the point where I don’t know what laughter feels like, and my memory on the subject is slightly fuzzy as well. I think it might have been a pleasant sound, not so much like the sound I make when I berate idiots. It’s funny how you forget things.

On the bright side, it’s made me a genius in the field of commercial energy storage, since I need a whole lot of power for my gaming setup. Everything from my surround sound system to my pro-gaming mouse needs a whole lot of juice, which presents a problem when there’s too much cloud cover. Maybe I should set up some energy storage batteries that will accept kinetic energy, but then I have to get on a bike. I hate getting on a bike. Physical activity takes away from time I could be using to wreck people online and yell at my teammates for not doing their jobs. Fortunately, I always do my job. Obviously.

Maybe I could pay someone to generate energy for me, someone who actually likes riding bikes. Alternatively, I could move to Brisbane and then I could store all the solar energy I could ever want, especially with my new Tesla powerwall providing me with enough energy to last into the night. But then I’d have to pay for air con…maybe if I gave up my pro-gaming wraparound screen? No, that could never happen. Man, being a pro-gamer really requires sacrifice.


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